Men in Skirts

January 6th, 2013 - Amritapuri, Kerala, India

Om Namah Shivaya!  It's Orion typing.  Once again, it's been too long since our last correspondance!  Alas! It's rather challenging to find internet in these parts, and even more difficult to tear our eyes away from tropical bliss and place them on the mind numbing, false hued rectangle of a computer screen.  But here I am!  What has happened these past four weeks?  Let me enlighten you...

First of all, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  I hope that you have all written down a long list of resolutions and plan on following through with them.  It's a pretty special time of year when so many people actually think, introspect and try to become better.  A rare occasion in our fast-paced lives!  Use it.

Where did Marina leave off... Ah yes, Puri.  She anticipated an epic twenty hour train journey, followed by another twelve hour one a few days later.  That all happened true to her predictions, but contrary to our firmly suppressed worries, both journeys were pleasant and easy!  The gift from my Grandma of the 3rd AC twenty-hour ride was amazing!  Time flew by, everyone was super chill (and literally so due to the blasting air conditioning), and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.  And the sleeper class train after that was smooth like sesame sauce.

We arrived in the southern metropolis of Chennai at dusk, and feeling rested, we dove into the fray.  As usual, chaos ensued.  We had planned to  go straight to a SRF/YSS retreat centre just outside of the city for a few days, but maya (the force of delusion in creation) was working its tricks, and we had to do battle first.  Following a helpful local from our train cabin, we rushed through the crowds of students, workers, sadhus, beggars, homeless, business people, locals, Indian tourists, and magically made it to the nearby local train station.  We were grateful for our guide's red backpack bobbing ahead of us in the crowd, like a buoy in the waves.  We never lost sight of it and made it through the storm without a hitch.  We then parted ways and he left us his phone number, saying that if we ever needed help, to call him.  The Indian people are so generous!  When someone says something like that, they literally mean it.  If we called him months later, he would selflessly offer his aid and then disappear again into the crowds. 

Selflessness to our fellow humans is a quality that is seriously lacking in Western culture.  We are so immersed in our own little "issues" that we forget to open our eyes to the woes of others.  I guarantee that any one of you reading this has SO MUCH more to be grateful for than you even know.  First clue?  You have access to a computer.  That automatically puts you ahead of 95% of the world, even if you don't even own the computer that you're using.  Think a little broader before you whine about pathetic "problems" like how your coffee is too cold or that you had a hard day at work.  At least you have a job.

Like the sun darkens my skin, all of my preconceptions about this blessed country are being burned from my consciousness.  I have been here on three different visas in three different stages of my life, and finally I think I am beginning to understand the heart of India.  I'm beginning to scratch the scratch of the scratch of the surface;  to see the tip of the tip of the iceberg.  There is something very unique about the oldest culture in the world: a culture that survived the rise and fall of the ages.  As other civilizations like ancient Egypt and Greece crumbled and were lost, India alone stood tall.  I believe that the spirit of selflessness is one of the key things that kept, and keeps, this country alive.  What would happen if you put forty million Americans, or Canadians, or English, or French together in one city like Delhi?  They'd kill each other!  Because of spirituality and selflessness, the Indian Heart has proved its worth by withstanding the test of time.  Yes, there are problems here, like anywhere.  But the fact that India has survived so much longer than any other civilization is proof that something is also very right.  I've met so many travelers that say the same thing; they keep coming again and again, hoping that some day they will be able to fully absorb the gifts that this confounding land has to offer. 

After our amazing guide left, we tried to find our train, but to no avail.  We had a destination name written down from someone we talked to at the retreat centre on the phone, but whenever we showed it to anyone, they told us that it didn't exist.  Talking on the phone in India is always an epic challenge.  Suddenly an amazingly helpful man appeared out of nowhere, and started googling with astonishing speed on his Iphone.  Thanks to his skillful mastery of the little device, we found out where we were supposed to be going, and several possibilities of how to get there.  To complicate matters further, we had been given about seven different phone numbers for different people at the retreat centre.  As all of this madness was going on, Marina and I were taking turns calling all of the numbers, but every single one was turned off!  Finally, after our iphone saviour had gone, we got through to a person who spoke only Tamil (the local language in the state of  Tamil Nadu), and who promtly hung up on us.  The frustration!  Thanks to our restful journey and previous ashram meditations, we were doing a good job of staying equanimous throughout this confusing scenario.  Suddenly, the Iphone-Saviour dashed out of a thriving mass of people to rejoin us.  He said that he felt compelled to come back to see if he could help one last time before he left the station.  And perfect timing!  Though he was new to the area, he spoke enough Tamil to get by; we handed the phone off to him and he cleared everything up.  We got another phone number out of it, and this one was priceless.  We said our farewells with gratitude after calling the number and finding a perfect English speaker on the other end of the line.  Some more confusing things happened when all of the other numbers we had called earlier started calling us back (it turned out they were all in meditation together while we were trying to call!), but in the end everything got sorted out.  It was late by now, so instead of going to the centre, we went to the home of the last wonderful phone number we were given.  The amazing couple told us to come to their home rather than undertake another huge journey out of the city at night.  We happily obliged, handing the phone over to a rickshaw driver, letting them negotiate the fair price, and squeezing in with our packs and instruments.  When we arrived after an hour of city traffic, we were treated to the best of the best of Indian hospitality.  Well worth the effort!

Doctorji and Sylvie (the ones belonging to the last and most helpful phone number)  warmly invited us into their home, helping us with every little thing we could need, and more!  We were fed an authentic South Indian feast, given a room to ourselves, and immediately made use of the shower in the wonderful attached bathroom.  No need for hot water here!  Even in the winter, it is definitely not necessary.  The hospitable couple made us feel oh so welcome, and extremely comfortable.  When the conversation turned to our plans, they got down to business.  After a short and efficient talk, they helped us plan our entire time in the Chennai area, including going to the retreat centre for a few days, exploring Tirruvanamali, and then heading back to Chennai to catch our train.  Amazing!  We had no idea of how to go about these things, and they appeared just in time to solve all of our problems.

The next day we left for the Chennai Retreat.  D & S "lent" us their employee that helps them around the house, a really nice guy named Gokal, to travel with us.  Having a local with us was amazing!  He could read the signs on the buses so we traveled seamlessly between crazy city areas even though we transferred several times.  He pointed things out to us, taught us about some interesting cultural things that are no longer practiced in the North of India, and we just bro-ed out.  It was great!  We arrived at the remote retreat without a hitch, got a room, and began relaxing!  We stayed for a few days in the midst of the bushy flatland, enjoying the complete peace.  It's so amazing the difference between the city and the countryside!  There was absolutely no noise save for birds and the breeze.  Lots of reading, writing, thinking, and meditating took place in that serene location of natural beauty.

But too soon, it was once again time to hit the road!  We left super early in the morning for Tirruvannamali, the great pilgramage place for the Lord Shiva.  Thus far, Gokal had been paying for everything from his seemingly inexhaustible wallet.  We forcibly tried to pay the bus fare again, but once again in vain!  He then explained; Doctorji and Sylvie were paying for our entire Tamil Nadu experience, and wouldn't let us contribute a penny!  Wow.  Filled with awe and gratitude, we thanked the couple through Gokal and thought about how thankful we were!  I will mention again: the Indian hospitality is unmatched.  The saying goes, " The guest is God," and it is in full practice in this foreign land.

Five hours on locals buses, a bouncing rickshaw, and we arrived in Tirruvannamali.  Great whitewashed, flat topped, four sided pyramids (I forget the technical name for that shape) loomed around the hundreds of hotels.  Tirruvannamali is at the base of a big hulking mountain (hill by our standards) named Arunachala that is said to be the abode of the Lord Shiva.  There is a story that goes along with this.  One day, Shiva, Vishnu and Brahma were hanging out.  They soon started debating about who is was the greatest of the three.  The argued and argued, and Shiva got sick of it.  He suddenly turned himself into a giant column of fire and commanded, "He who can pass through the flames is the greatest!"  Vishnu and Brahma then took various forms in their vain attempts to penetrate the plasma, determined to be the victor.  After trying and trying, they realized they could not succeed.  Humbled, they realized the true greatness of Shiva.  During the full moon, a giant wick (30 metres or something?!) is lit on top of the mountain in memory of that story.  Barefoot pilgrims come from all over, sometimes 200,000 a day, to walk the 15km walk around the base of the mountian, and for the more courageous, to hike to the top.  Because of our limited time we weren't able to do the hike, but there were many other things to see.

Gokal had more tricks up his sleeves!  First we had lunch in this random place that didn't even look it had an entrance, let alone that it was a restaurant.  We feasted on something like a 5 course meal served on banana leaves; the real traditional way!  The food was amazing, and no garbage at all!  So sweet.  I noticed as Gokal was paying that it was only twenty rupees a plate.  What?!  We dirtbag it as hard as possible, and we still pay about double that for a meal that's way less filling and not even close to as good.  I guess you have to read and speak the language to find the real secret local eateries.  After lunch, Gokal conjured up a temple brahmin (a high caste of boys who are raised to work and manage holy places) to personally guide us to the sacred shrines within the giant stone masterpieces.  He took us behind the locked gates, skipped all the lines, and then where the regular pilgrims come to simply get a glimpse of the deity, we actually got to sit in that chamber for a minute and get prasad from our guide.  This is the highest of honours and the Indians waiting in lines for hours for a tiny glimpse were very jealous.  We went to a Shiva (pure consciousness, masculine energy) shrine, and then a Shakti (creative principle, feminine energy) shrine, and to top it all off, we were garlanded at the end!  Being the only white people, Marina was horribly embarrassed, I was laughing, and with fragrant flowers around our necks and sandalwood paste all over our foreheads, standing out like sore thumbs, we ceremoniously quitted the temple area and were treated to some ice cream.  It was all quite surreal!  We rushed through the temples so quickly, and had to bow too fast to even say, "Om," but yet we lived every Hindu's dream of getting right into the temple's inner chambers.  Weird.  It was pretty hilarious.  We definitely prefer to take things slow and absorb the energy, but we got a taste of the way that the crowds do it, VIP style!  We felt like awkward tourists, but it was worth it.  So funny.

After the ancient temples we visited the Ramana Maharshi Ashram, which was wonderful.  Ramana Maharshi was a great saint (Maha-Rishi) who meditated for many many years (like 25 or something?) in a cave on the side of Arunachala before starting his ashram.  Deeply searching for the Divine Goal, he overcame the many tests and trials that came to him all those years until he finally attained the highest bliss.  Today, many seekers came to this holy place seeking the blessing of this great master, and meditating where his body was laid to rest after achieving mahasamadhi.  We stepped off of the very Indian streets into another scene of culture shock!  Apparently Ramana Maharshi has a TON of Western followers, because the place was overrun by white people.  We explored the extremely peaceful area, meditated a while in the high-energy spots, and then it was time to leave.  Another five hour bus ride, and we arrived "home" at Doctorji and Sylvie's.  We thanked them profusely but they shrugged it off, as was expected.  They wouldn't take any praise for themselves.  So humble and selfless.  I learned a lot from them.

We left Tamil Nadu feeling extremely grateful for our short and amazingly sweet (not to mention free) experience in the state.  A comfortable sleeper class train journey brought us to Ernakulam in Kerala.  We hopped on a local bus from there in search of a beach!  We soon arrived in Varkala without a hitch.  Disregarding the horrible Lonely Planet, which as of this year is designed for resort travelers instead of all price ranges, we found a cheap and clean hotel on our own, just a two minute walk from the beach.  Varkala is definitely a tourist town, complete with hippy shops, touts, and wifi, but it also had the clean beaches we were seeking.  Ah, the ocean!  It welcomed us with a stunning sunset over cresting waves just begging to be body-surfed upon.  The next few days we did just that.  We body-surfed, explored the cliffs above the beach, took advantage of the free wifi (But hardly. Who would choose the internet over the sunset?), and got super sunburnt.  We spent the days after that doing the same things, but wearing hats and too many clothes.  Marina, who had been rejoicing at the bikini friendly environment, was forced to wear as many (if not more) clothes as before due to our crispy skin.  But it was all worth it!  With a little...well, a lot, of coconut oil, and shorter swimming sessions, we recovered without peeling.  And we enjoyed every second of the tropical paradise that we were inhabiting!  Fresh coconut juice, silhouetted palms, fine white sand, crashing waves, and the ever expansive Arabian Sea stretching out to infinity.

Our time in Varkala also came to a close, and we headed off to Amritapuri, to see Mata Amritanandamayi (Mother of Immortal Bliss), or Amma (Mother), as she is affectionately called by everyone.  She is a South Indian saint that is primarily involved in intense humanitarian work and speading the message of world peace.  She was born in a tiny, extremely poor fishing village, and grew up to start a world movement.  A perfect example of what she teaches, she was horribly abused as a child, forced to work non stop and beaten if not perfect, yet has perfect love and compassion for her family.  She even built her parents a beautiful home on her ashram property to grow old in!  Throughout all of her challenges, she exhibited that pure spirit of forgiveness and selflessly served her ungrateful relations.  She travels all over the world spreading her message.  She is known as the hugging saint because as compassion is one of her main messages, she likes to comfort the suffering people of the world.  Often she will spent twenty hours or more sitting in one position hugging thousands of people non stop.  You can literally see the love for the people written on her face as she embraces them, her intense sympathy for their suffering often causing tears to run down her face.  She doesn't get up, doesn't stretch, doesn't go to the bathroom, and hardly eats or drinks.  She gives each person all of her attention and makes them feel that they are the centre of her world for that short moment they are with her.  If that's not proof that something is special about her, I don't know what is.  I've only ever checked out the Embracing the World site, but I'm sure you can find about more about Amma at www.amma.org (USA main site, probably the best one ) , www.ammacanada.ca , or www.amritapuri.org (India site).  Read about her humanitarian work at www.embracingtheworld.org . 

Besides all of the radical changes that I have already mentioned, Amma is also doing an amazing amount of environmental work.  She encourages TRUE recycling, meaning reusing.  At her ashram, there are about five different containers for various materials to be reused.  In the compost and recycling department, a team assesses what they are given.  After going through everything and reorganizing, they will use whatever they can to build useful contraptions and reuse as much as possible before they send things off to be "recycled" in a plant.  We could use this mentality back home, where if something gets a tiny hole in it, rather than repairing it, we just throw it out.  Around the ashram you will see giant wheel barrows with old car tires on them for transporting cauldrons of food, and many other inventive designs that saved garbage from the burning pile.  In Kerala, burning garbage is a huge problem.  Amma is addressing that issue with aggressive forward thinking, and her presence is felt throughout South India in that way.  The South is far more progressive in many positive ways compared to the North, which seems to have adopted the negative habits of the West while leaving out a lot of the good ones.

Amma is also a loud (and wise) voice speaking for women's rights.  India is wayyyy behind the times in that respect, and Amma is making huge improvements by raising awareness and implementing many programs to get women educated and working.  While she was at the ashram, she gave a speech relating to the horrible gang rape that recently happened in Delhi.  She brought to light many important points that most people would overlook, and said that suffering is what drives humanity to change.  From a scientific perspective, nothing in the universe changes without friction.  So it is with us.  Any big negative thing that happens is the catalyst for positive change.  Amma is helping humanity in an insane amount of practical ways.  Reading about everything she does, you will have trouble believing that one person can do so much.  She is truly inspiring.

Though Amma's original home was a tiny hut, times have changed!  As more and more people started to come see her for counsel, wisdom, and love, the area of her birth changed rapidly.  An ashram was built, complete with monks, residents, and rooms for devotees.  Then more buildings were built.  Today, there are over 3000 permanant residents at the ashram, and three 15-storey skyscrapers grace the premises.  As there isn't much land and there are a lot of people, they had to build vertically rather than horizontally.  We celebrated Christmas here, so here's something to make you think about numbers.  On December 26th, 2004, the massive Indian Ocean Tsunami struck the Amritapuri Ashram and ravaged the coastline.  On that day, 20,000 people were evacuated from the ashram alone.  You can imagine eight years later how much that number has grown.  Of course, Embracing the World took care of the evacuation, building thousands of new homes for villagers, and solved the disaster problem in no time.  (Read about that and SO MUCH more at the Embracing the World website.)  As I was saying, there are A LOT of people here!  The ashram is basically a small, super-condensed city, complete with a university, hospital, bank, internet cafe, printing press & publishing house, gigantic kitchen factory, western-style coffee shop, general store, laundromat, Ecology Centre to promote "green living," music shop, juice stall, chocolate makers, Kali temple, incense store, ayurvedic pharmacy, and more.  That being said, there is a lot to do here.  In addition to the usual day-to-day schedule, travelers and residents put on workshops of all kinds.  If you want to learn to do something...anything! you can do it here.  To stay in the ashram you pay a straight up fee that includes super nice accomodation and three meals a day.  Based on that bit of information, theoretically you could stay here for extremely cheap!  But the lures of the workshops and tantalizing baking beckon, and for that reason it is very difficult to "dirt-bag" it TOO hard here.  And that's not really good or bad, it just is.  You make of it what you will. 

Marina and I planned to stay here only until Amma left at the very beginning of January, but we got sucked in, and are still here now!  Seeing Amma was amazing; it is difficult to describe the mixture of unconditional love and complete POWER that she commands.  You have to see it to understand.  If you ever get the chance, go meet her and get darshan (sight of a holy figure - for Amma, that means a hug and a chat) when she comes on one of her international tours.  It is absolutely worth the effort.  One of our favourite things about Amma is her musicality!  She leads an amazing 20 or 30 piece band in classical Indian bhajans as well as hundreds of her own compositions, and they ROCK THE HOUSE.  The tabla players groove like no one else, backed up by tons of percussionists in perfect sync; the harmonium players shred the keys; the vocalists follow Amma and her lead Swamis' vocals with shout chorus perfection; and Amma leads the band like the uncompromising, victorious general leading an army.  Stick in one hand striking the stage to keep time or hands upraised as she loses herself in the beautiful music, she is always in command.  Sometimes she changes the tempo suddenly, and without a hitch, the band follows perfectly.  Many of the songs end as they speed up to insanity, the gigantic crowd clapping in timely ecstacy, a vocalist soulfully tearing at your heart as they solo, the scores of backup singers providing an energetically rhythmic and melodic accompaniment, the shaker player head banging as he shakes faster than you can conceive of, the tabla players duelling to insanity, the harmonium holding gigantic bassy chords, the keyboards playing a huge string pad filling out the edges, and Amma shouting, "Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma!" to Divine Mother into an effects mic that reverberates through your soul.  The last song of the nights ends with a grand finale.  The lights suddenly dim, and Amma yells an epic mantra into the mic, to which the 10,000+ person crowd replies with a deafening shout of, "JAI!" (Victory!), throwing their hands into the air.  This repeats as the tempo increases to a climax of a different, intensely willful call from Amma, replied by the crowd, in a frenzy by now, with double the zest and double the volume.  Black out; the band ends tight, thousands of hands raised in the air in a shout for victory.

We spent Christmas and the dawn of the New Year in that same spirit of peaceful yet frenzied emotion, sitting in the midst of tens of thousands of people, with Amma in the centre of the gigantic sea of souls.  On Christmas an 80 person cast put on a hilarious and extremely corny musical that they wrote and directed themselves.  I was very impressed at the quality, and I usually rip theatre apart!  The music was bad ass, and the acting was legit.  The tech was iffy, but for what they were working with, it was fantastic.  After the play, a recording of Amma's Christmas speech was played.  It was prerecorded so that subtitles could be projected in something like twelve different languages.  Then Amma spoke for real, while one of her swamis took frantic notes so that he could translate into English after she finished.  His translation skills are phenomenal!  Amma will speak for fifteen minutes or more, and he will listen and scribble intently (At least I think he scribbles. I've never been close enough to see him).  Afterwards, he will translate the whole thing into English without a hitch.  Then he does the whole thing in reverse, when someone speaks English to Amma, and he translates to her (though she doesn't need the translation!).  Sometimes Amma will interrupt his English translation to clarify a point.  Though she is not officially an English speaker and pretends to speak only Malayalam (the Keralan language), she obviously understands English perfectly!  She laughs at people's stories in English as they tell them to her, clarifies points lost in translation, and keeps a vigilant ear on all conversations to make sure that her words are undiluted.  Amma spoke for some time, unfazed by the dozens of small children crawling all over her, and then she commanded that the music should begin by beating the mic with her hand and starting to sing a bhajan.  Until late at night, we sang and clapped and danced to Amma's flawless band.  The energy was like nothing I have ever experienced; so high and powerful and boundlessly energetic.  Christmas and New Year's were both the same schedule, but on New Year's there were various performances (fire spinning, flamenco guitar duo, dance, etc.) instead of theater.  As the clock drew nearer to midnight, we began chanting the ancient peace prayer: Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu; "May all beings in all worlds be happy."  Thus, 2013 was welcomed with a prayer for world peace, sung intently by many thousands of voices.  Both nights were amazing, uplifting, and inspiring.  I can't say that any Christmas or New Year's is better than any other, but this one definitely stands out as unique in my experience.  Marina and I missed our families and friends back home, but we were surrounded by our world family as we rejoiced through the universal languages of music and love.

 So here we are!  We've been doing seva (selfless service) every day, which is one of the things Amma encourages, and it is very rewarding.  Just a few hours a day, keeping your mind on helping others before yourself, and it's very nice.  As I mentioned earlier and Amma teaches, selfishness is one of the problems in today's world, and the only way to overcome it is by it's opposite - selflessness.  I've been working washing the gigantic cauldrons that they use to cook with getting soaked, and Marina's been in the laundry department doing calculations.  Right now I'm laying on the bed of our 9th storey "apartment" enjoying the sweeping 180 degree view of palmtrees and  waterways on one side.  If I but walk ten steps out the door, I get the same view, but of neverending salt water.  On one side of the ashram is the enormous stretch of ocean, and on the other side, a gorgeous branch of the famous Keralan backwaters winds down the coast.  You can see how it's easy to stay here for a long time!

We'll stay here for Marina's birthday (Jan 7th), and then we're heading up the coast to Goa!  Marina knows a secret place with private beach huts right on the ocean where we can play guitar and ukulele at all hours of the day and night while relaxing in our hammocks listening to the crashing waves.  We like to play music a lot in the evening, but in our building at the ashram we have to be quiet by 9pm, so now that Amma's gone, we're ready to get our own little hut and write a bunch of tropical tunes.

Hope you're all enjoying the fluffy powder as much as we're enjoying the sticky sun!  Merry Christmas and Happy 2013!  The world didn't end after all....  Make some good resolutions and follow through on them.  Good luck!

Peace and love!

Orion (& Marina)

P.S.  I suppose I should explain about the title of this blog!  "Men in Skirts" seems like somewhat of a mysterious title thus far.  In South India, the most common style for men is either the dhoti or the lungi with differing shirts on top.  The styles of wearing them differ depending on what area you are in, but they are essentially long skirts for men.  A lungi is a strip of fabric two metres long and a dhoti is four metres long.  Obviously you can do a lot more with a dhoti; you can even make really bad ass pants with some fancy folding!  Since arriving in the heat, I have been wearing either a dhoti or lungi every day, and it is amazing.   In Kerala, the style of wearing the lungi is called a Mundu, and it can be worn in two awesome ways.  For a more formal, conservative look, it is worn like a long sarong-type skirt with an edge always showing in the front.  For working, or just chilling out and letting in some extra breeze, they take the long skirt and fold in half, doing an epic fold and tuck, and it becomes a short above-the-knee "skirt."  The men have so mastered this, that you can see them effortlessly doing the fold-and-tuck while walking!  Very cool.  In a country where men are usually greasy and moustached wearing western styles from the 50's, the lungi/dhoti is an extremely elegant style!  Even Marina wholeheartedly agrees with this traditional style. It's a great alternative to sticky pants in a humid place! Compared to all traditional clothes that I have seen and tried, this is the most functional, comfortable, and stylish.  There are hundreds of different ways to wear them, you get all the breeze you need, you look good, it saves fabric and sewing, and you fit in.  So why not wear a lungi?  I'm bringing the style back to Canada.  Look out!

(Read this aloud with an infomercial advertiser's voice for a good laugh.)